Gandolf

This is “Gandalf”, also known as “The Colonel” depending on which homeless community you happen to be in out here. I first saw “Gandalf” sitting alone on a park bench at Kent’s Water Park across from the Kent Regional Library this summer. The homeless youth out here dubbed him “Gandalf” because of the long flowing beard and hair he used to have prior to this photo I took of him. Every morning “Gandalf” comes in to the McDonald’s on Auburn Way South to get in out of the rain or freezing cold. Patrons here offer him coffee or a few bucks for a hot sandwich or two. Other patrons mock him and turn their noses up at him as they walk past him, choosing seats as far from him as they can.

Just before the Thanksgiving holiday, I decided to get to know more about “Gandalf” and said hello to him one rainy morning. I listened as he told me about just getting out of the hospital and how he lost his raincoat in the backpack he had that someone stole when he went into the hospital. He had all his worldly possessions in that pack, a well worn bible, his rain coat and some prescriptions given to him while at the hospital. Someone had offered to buy the old timer a cup of coffee which he graciously turned down due to the fact he was sipping on a liter of water to rehydrate his body. He pointed to the i.d. bracelet from the hospital still on his wrist and said he was just released the night before and how the hospital had cut his hair and beard down to its current length.

That’s how coffee with “Gandalf” started. I started meeting him at McDonald’s after dropping my daughter off at school every morning. Sometimes I’d give him a couple of bucks to ride the buses to keep warm at night even though I knew sometimes he’d buy a beer or two with it. I would sit and listen to “Gandalf” tell me about his panhandling adventures and his experiences as a salesman, a marine in Vietnam and the loss of his first wife who died by drunk driver. Then he casually mentioned he had pancreatic cancer and a tumor in his brain and how doctors gave him six days to live yet somehow he managed to live ten days past their expectations. He told me how he never owed a dime to anybody in his life until medical bills for cancer started piling up. Now he owes more than he can ever hope to pay back.

While “Gandalf” spoke, I was thinking about the green backpack in the back of my van that had a bunch of “survival” items in it. I walked outside and rummaged around in the van until I found it and dumped the contents into a plastic grocery sack and put a pair of clean socks in it and gave the pack to “Gandalf” who was so surprised he was speechless. To my way of thinking, what’s a backpack compared to a man who knows he may not be here tomorrow? I asked Gandalf if I could take his picture and again he was surprised. “Why on earth would you want to take a picture of me?” he asked. I told him it was because I could not walk past another human being and not acknowledge them while they were still here. ”Gandalf” scratched his head and smiled. He lowered the hood on his jacket, ran his fingers through his hair
then posed for me.

When Thanksgiving morning arrived, I found “Gandalf” sitting at his usual place near a window in McDonald’s. I asked him if he had someplace to go and he said he just needed bus fare to go to the Calvary church in Federal Way for their Thanksgiving meal. I gave him bus fare and told him I would see him the next day. Friday came and “Gandalf” was nowhere to be seen. Saturday came and went, still no “Gandalf”. I drove behind the Thai restaurant he told me he sometimes slept behind, couldn’t find him. I drove down Auburn Way all the way down to Kent, checking bus stops along the way in case he happened to be sitting on a bench waiting for a bus. Sunday found me driving around looking for him and asking around about him. This is not like “Gandalf” to not show up…

This morning after I dropped my daughter off at school, I went to McDonald’s and spoke to the manager. She told me she knew “Gandalf” as “The Colonel” and she hadn’t seen him since Thanksgiving either. She makes a point to keep an eye on him because of the frequency of his seizures caused by the tumor growing inside his brain. The last time he had a seizure, he was taken to Auburn General Hospital. I called the hospital but they couldn’t look up anyone without a date of birth so I called 911 to file a missing persons report. Officer Christiansen of the Auburn Police Department met me in the parking lot and I showed him a picture of “Gandalf” from my cell phone and he said he recognized “Gandalf”. The officer ran a check on his computer but no one fitting “Gandalf” has been brought in but he would put the word out to the bike cops in the area who know many of the local homeless folks “Gandalf” knows. They might have seen “Gandalf” in the last few days. Officer Christiansen gave me a possible last name and date of birth so I called the hospital back and a very helpful operator said no one by the name I had or date of birth was brought in, nor any John Does by that description.

I called the King County Medical Examiner’s office and they had no unidentified’s from the last week at their facilities. I called Harborview Medical Center and had no luck with them either, so where is “Gandalf”? If anyone has seen him, please let me know via email at indy.inn@hotmail.com. No one deserves to die out on the street.

Please help!

I first met Jay at a church feed in Kent. I was stunned to see a wheelchair bound man with nowhere to go. I finally caught up with him today at the library. His story is heartbreaking to hear but he was kind enough to agree to share with me on video a small glimpse of what his daily life has been like ever since he lost housing. I called local shelters today after he told me a woman at a shelter ran by Catholic Community Services told him he couldn’t stay there because he is in a wheelchair and they didn’t want to be liable if anything happened to him. No surprises then, when I called around to shelters for the disabled and got told that I would have to call some numbers tomorrow morning. In the meantime, Jay doesn’t know where he’ll be sleeping tonight or if he’ll get picked up by the police. Jay is only one face out of many here in Kent with no place to go. The city of Kent does not have a drop-in center downtown so homeless folks like Jay must travel to Pierce County or all the way to Seattle if they have the bus fare or a ride out of town.

I’ll be making calls to see what can be done for Jay but even he knows there’s no getting around being put on a waiting list to get into a shelter….if the shelter will take him.

Many homeless folks face criticisms from people who think their perspectives apply to the reality homeless people actually live in. I find this to be true everytime I get an email or comment from someone who accuses me of being selfish for not going to a shelter system I can’t even get into and believe me, I have tried. See the video attached to this blog for a small example of what I’ve been dealing with for several years now. I’ve heard everything from suggestions to dump my kids off to Foster care to turning custody over to other family members. Interestingly enough, these comments tend to come from people who THINK they know my situation and others like mine. First of all, if relatives WANTED to take custody of my kids when they knew I was going to be homeless, I imagine they would’ve have done so by now. Secondly, many of my relatives can barely afford a roof over their heads so taking on more mouths to feed is out of the question.

I find criticisms to be interesting insights into other people’s ignorance about homeless parenting. That being said, I can understand why some people think the way they do. For instance, there are parents out there who shouldn’t be. With the homeless youth I’ve ran into in the city of Kent, I have seen first hand examples of bad parenting or the sheer lack of it. If people took the time to talk with these homeless kids, they’d see that they are much more than stereotypes and they are very much living reasons as to why I can’t just send my kids to Foster care as if that was going to solve the real problem behind our homelessness…..we can’t get out of it! Even if I were to dump my kids into the Foster care system, will that alone put a roof over my head? I talked to my kids about going to Foster care and they refused to. My teen made it clear she would always feel like I gave up on keeping us together as a family. My previous blog was about the shelter system and my experiences in dealing with them so as far as I’m concerned, if a reader still doesn’t get it after that blog, they never will.

There will always be those who presume the worst about what they don’t know, but that’s their problem. For you homeless parents out there doing the best you can to survive, ignore negative people because the only thing they’ll do is invalidate you as a human being. We already know Section 8 is closed to apply for. We already know shelters are closing due to lack of funding. We already know “emergency funds” have been slashed. We already know that many of us don’t get support from family members. We know that jobs are hard to come by and if we do get that job, who can afford childcare if you don’t qualify for childcare assistance? What happens when your expenses to go to work cost more than what the job pays?

Before you jump to conclusions on what you don’t know, get the facts first then ask yourself if it’s worth criticizing.