We will find our own way out

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (2 Comments)

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about homelessness it’s that you cannot rely too much on government programs to provide safety nets for it’s citizens. Used to be a time Social Services could prevent and get people out of homelessness but no more. Making cutbacks on the heads of those who need it the most is suicide yet it continues to happen. Let’s face it, people are self interested and the majority won’t get involved unless there’s “something in it for them” and no matter how hard you want to believe that isn’t true, it is. Then there’s those who think that somebody else is going to fix the mess we as a society have allowed to happen. If the government chooses to let the rest of the population not in the 1% wither and die, does that mean we should too? When the government does get involved, it’s usually overregulated and badly managed.

The homeless epidemic in this country is a disaster and should be treated the same way. There are just too many people in the world who believe that they’ve done all they can so they “let it go”. Well I’m sorry but us homeless people are done hearing that all the time. We are not disposable human beings nor are our children. We as a society are responsible for letting things get as bad as they have and we as a society are responsible for fixing it! Instead of trying old ways of doing things, don’t just think outside the box, get out of it and create a new model that works based on real time experience that proves what works and what doesn’t. Believe it or not, it’s not as overcomplicated as some would have us all believing. I suspect the problem is simply that those who want to help can’t, and those who can do more just don’t want to. Sure, I can sit around and justify all kinds of reasons for looking the other way at another person’s suffering but what’s the point? Rather than waste time with apathy, I’d rather be doing what I can to make a difference in the world I live in.

Here comes the “what if” segment of this blog: What if people volunteered their time in a massive fundraising event that is also a subtle protest? What if a group of people stood near exit off ramps and near major shopping areas and held up cardboard signs saying “I’m not asking for myself, I’m doing this because a newborn will be sleeping outside tonight if I don’t”? What if I approached local businesses one by one and literally begged them to donate a few dollars here and there on a regular basis to pay for motel stays for homeless families? What if entire neighborhoods held community yardsales for the needy and used the proceeds to create their own motel vouchers or to help pay rent to prevent folks from becoming homeless in the first place? I know of several churches with huge parking lots capable of holding homemade “carnivals” complete with $3 meal deals consisting of a hotdog, chips and a soda. The point is, there is always a way to raise funds without spending too much money on it. All you need is a willing spirit.

The above paragraphs being said, I’ve decided to start having little community meetings on Saturdays over at Kona Kai’s to educate people on what they don’t know about homelessness and who the local homeless people are and I will be inviting different people to them for different reasons. I already know that being put on indefinite waiting lists for housing puts everybody at risk and that the only way to save lives is to go around bureaucracy. We will have to find our own way out of the mess we got stuck with when social services and our economy got stripped.

See you all next Saturday!

 

 

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Wow!

Posted by Carey Fuller in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

Wow is all I can say to the generous folks who donated to help get to New York to attend the 140 Conference! I have to admit though that I am a little nervous as I’ve never been to a 140 before. True to my nature however, every new experience is an adventure to me so in many ways I am curious about the event more than anything. If someone had told me years ago that I would be a homeless blogger and advocate for the homelessness, I would’ve laughed in their faces. Yet here I am, getting ready to head to New York to attend the conference with Mark Horvath.

Never did it occur to me that the internet and social media could impact my life the way it has ever since I took a chance on writing a letter to Josie Raymond (a former editor with Change.org). I really did expect her to send my letter to the “oval file”. To my surprise she published that letter and even more surprising to me was the response that one letter generated. Not long after that some guy named Mark Horvath sent me an email with a copy of Josie’s email introducing him to me. Nothing in her letter indicated what it was I was supposed to do other than asking me if I ever heard of Mr. Horvath. Since I wasn’t sure what to do, I figured that if I just lay low and didn’t respond, he wouldn’t notice me. Hah! Boy was I wrong about that!

At first I was a little intimidated by Mark but after talking to him for awhile I realized he’s a real person like everyone else and he showed me how to set up a Twitter account and got me to join the We Are Visible community. He said to me “You know, once you do this, your life will never be the same.” That sentence has proven to be true. I had no idea how many people could be reached via social media. It is still a very surreal experience for me to Google my name and find how many different sites I’m on. The other thing is being able to reach out to people in different cities, states and countries which to me, keeps the experience human. I knew there were other folks going through the same situation as I was but I didn’t realize just how many were homeless until I started talking with them on Twitter, Facebook and my blog, careyfuller.com. I have also met a mix of non-homeless people, some who are sympathetic towards homeless and others who are completely misinformed. I find that social media is a very effective tool in educating the masses out of the commonly held stereotypes about homelessness and who the homeless are.

Now you may ask what it is I hope to get out of going to the 140 Conference and my answer is simple; I see the conference as an opportunity to learn all I can and maybe in return, others will learn that social media can be used to turn lives around. A big thank you to all the folks that chose to help me by donating to help me get my transmission fixed and for helping me get to New York!

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There are days……

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (1 Comments)

There are days when you wonder when and if things will change for the better. Even when you’ve done everything you could think of to help yourself, sooner or later you come to the realization that it’s not enough. When the realization hits, questions inevitably pop into your head; questions like how long can I keep living like this? How long will I survive?

All the while you’re pondering questions about your ability to survive, if you have children, you wonder about how your situation will impact them in the future. Sometimes all you can do is hold on to each other the best you can and roll with whatever life throws at you, good and bad. And while you’re doing all that rolling around, pray you don’t get seasick…..

Most of the time, I figure I am in control of where my life goes, even if I got the rug pulled out from under me. One way I deal with life’s uncertainties, is to remind myself that nothing is a given, therefore I make it a practice not to expect too much out of other people or any given situation. Humans are funny that way. Some are just passing through, and others will be friends for life but there’s no way to tell unless they actually prove it to you. To my way of thinking, conduct will always speak louder than words.

To be honest, I dreaded what I would have to do if I failed to reach my Chipin goal of $2,500.00 by the end of today. I’m sure I would’ve come up with something even if it meant racing against time and moving the van around so it doesn’t get towed. Not having a home is bad enough but not having the mini-van would’ve been an even bigger nightmare. People take for granted that living out of your vehicle is an automatic guarantee in isolation, at least for me this has been true.

I was thinking all these things today when to my surprise, I got an email from Chipin that my targeted goal has been met! As of this morning, the grand total of donations received was at $1,170. Someone had made up the difference in one donation! I just spent thirty minutes staring at the screen in disbelief. In these tough economic times, who could afford to make such a donation? On top of that, it is a donation to someone they’ve never met yet there it was staring back at me from the Chipin page.

I don’t know what made all these individuals decide to help me, which makes it seem even more miraculous. I do know that I’m stunned. I am accustomed to thinking that in order to get to a better place in life; I’m pretty much on my own so I don’t expect anyone to do anything in my behalf. Maybe I’ll never meet all the generous people who donated but I can thank them. I don’t think they realize how much help they have given us and for that I hope that one day I’ll be able to return the favor.

Whoever and wherever you all may be…….thank you.

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You know it’s funny….

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (2 Comments)

You know it’s funny to see the expressions on other people’s faces when you tell them you’re homeless, especially when you run across old classmates or friends of family that didn’t know as much as they thought they did. Relax, I tell them. You were expecting to see someone who didn’t look like I do or maybe you thought I had relatives supporting me until I get back on my feet. Sorry to disappoint those preconceived notions.

I am no different from you it’s just that, I lost my job and there aren’t the social services you assumed were in place to catch us when we fall. Maybe you voted to defund programs because you thought the only people who benefited from them were drug addicts too far gone or lazy people who simply didn’t want to work. Maybe you thought that the puny amount of funds our government spends on social services is more than what the government spends outside this country.

Then there are those of you who look at me and wonder why I don’t just go out and live off some man as though that were the only option a woman has in getting a better life. Hasn’t the women’s movement gone beyond that kind of thinking by now? Having a man in your life does not guarantee your life will be any better….

I also think it’s funny when folks ask me how I’m doing even though I post status updates on this blog or on my Facebook page. If you really want to know, try reading. As far as donations go towards fixing the transmission on the mini-van, we are now up to $770.00 which is about 30% of the targeted goal of $2,500.00.

On my little book of poetry, 77 books were sold (Yay!) so I thank each and every one of you who bought and read them! The book I wrote for my oldest daughter, New Descendant, has only sold 5 copies so far but, that’s 5 people reading it and I’m grateful. I know how the book industry goes so it will be a while in getting my stories out to as many as I can, I just have to be patient!

In the meantime, I’m just like everyone else who is looking for full-time work that will enable me NOT to pay for childcare as it is too expensive. When I had two jobs, one of them was solely to pay for childcare.

If you’re reading this, do me a favor. Please don’t feel sorry for me, I’m not asking for pity. I’ve been through a lot worse and maybe sometime in the near future, my experiences with homelessness won’t be in vain. If you realize I’m homeless, don’t suddenly act as though I have a contagious disease, I don’t. I’m the same person you once knew, just in a difficult situation. If you want to help because you believe in the cause that homelessness can be ended, great! I salute you in your efforts to help out!

For the rest of the homeless nation, keep on fighting and don’t give up!

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Tales from the driver’s side

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (1 Comments)

Although homelessness isn’t a glamorous place to be, sometimes things happen that are downright funny, like the time this couple living out of their conversion van left a Wal-Mart parking lot in a hurry and forgot that the clothes line on the roof of their van still had all their laundry on it and as they drove down the street, underwear and bras went flying all over the road!

One thing I noticed out here was the fact that you observe a lot when you are constantly moving around. Sometimes you see bad things, sometimes good. It just depends on where you’re at and when. I’ll never forget waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of shotgun blasts and the flashing lights of police cars chasing a white pick-up truck down the street. Apparently the person they were chasing was involved in a murder at a local motel and the police ran the guy into a median, then shot out the rearview window when the guy started shooting at the police. Needless to say, I didn’t go back to that neighborhood unless I was desperate because these kinds of incidents happened a little too frequently there.

I will never forget one older woman who saw us every day at a local park. She went there to walk for exercise in the mornings and one day she tapped on my window. I rolled it down thinking she needed help but to my surprise, she held up a bag of apples she brought with her that morning. She said “Excuse me hon, but are you homeless? I don’t mean to pry but I’ve been seeing you here all summer long and kind of guessed that you were. I want you and your girls to have these.” She became a good friend along with another older gal that walked her little dog around the park. I came to find out that these two ladies knew each other! The woman with the dog would bring occasional Happy Meals for my kids and I was so grateful that she did. I didn’t qualify for food stamps then because I was working but the money I made went into the gas tank and maintenance on the r.v.. It just wasn’t enough to survive on.

By contrast, there was another family that also frequented the park and they saw us with our r.v. but…the father had a position at the church that sat on the other side of the park and although my kids would talk from time to time with his kids, he made a point of separating his kids from mine once my youngest told them we lived out of the Minnie Winnebago. What was he afraid of? Homelessness is not a contagious disease.

These are the thoughts I thought today while sitting at the park with my youngest today. Seven years it’s been and I haven’t given up hope yet. I still have a way to go before I can get my transmission fixed on the mini-van but several people have donated funds to help me and I thank all of you that gave so generously. So far, $665.00 has been raised and I am truly amazed! With a little luck, I’ll be able to raise the rest of the money needed to get the transmission switched out before the end of April. Otherwise, I’ll have to scrap the van and figure out how to get another vehicle.

Day by day is how we’re living and tomorrow is the beginning of another new start towards a brighter future so don’t give up!

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Possible opportunities

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (12 Comments)

Ever since that piece in the Huffington Post ran about me, I’ve been getting quite a few emails from sympathetic folks, even some donations for the mini van and I am eternally grateful to you all. In the meantime, I still have to find a way to make a living for the long-term. There is a book I wrote specifically for my oldest daughter while we were living out of the van. She was going through a lot of depression and the only way I could think of to help distract her from dwelling on our situation in a negative way was to keep her mind busy.

I did this by writing a few pages at a time about a girl called Yeracenna. She grew up poor and experienced what it was like to be abused, neglected and ignored. That didn’t mean she was worthless and she would soon discover that poverty doesn’t define who you are. It is a situation that is dealt with by learning her way through it. It didn’t take long for my daughter to identify with the main character and the world she lives in. I entitled this manuscript “New Descendant” as I also included in this story elements from our cultural background. Although my maternal side of the family is Filipino, my father’s side of the family are the Black Cherokees from Tennessee. I grew up around several different cultures and that influence can be seen in this story.

On a different project, I am working on another little book about my first experience with homelessness all the way up until now. I intend to release these on Kindle as it is free and fairly simple to use. Who knows? Maybe someday a major publisher will pick it up for hard copy but in the meantime, I will keep writing the only way I know how.

Of course, not to be left behind is my youngest daughter who now wants a story of her own so that is yet another project I am working on!

It is my hope that folks who read what I write can see what life is like on your own without a support system to stop you from falling through the cracks. Life may not be a bed of roses but it sure does feel better once you remove the thorns!

P.S. – Oh yeah, occasionally you will hear me on radio shows but when those come up, I will post the link to the station so you all can have a listen if you’re able to!

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A guide book of sorts

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (8 Comments)

Reading stories this morning about babies born into homelessness reminds me of the first time I was homeless and the causes behind my own experiences. So many folks want to know so much about me that I admit, it feels a little overwhelming. Rather than try to answer every individual question emailed to me, I decided to write another Kindle book that will hopefully answer these questions but more importantly, give the world a first person account of what it’s like to be a homeless mother.

My friends know that I am unapologetic for the stance I take against Nimbyism, hypocrisy, willful ignorance, apathy, complacency and downright mental laziness. I don’t believe in playing the part of a victim. I don’t believe in being an oppressor either. I will not enable others to be unbalanced nor allow them to influence my life to go off kilter. I do believe that it is in the power of each one of us to rise above the status quo that has been so ingrained into society that we have forgotten how to be a caring collective.

To those of us that fell from the sky because there was no safety net to catch us, I hear you. I feel you. I am one of you. I will do what I can to show the rest of the world that most of us are not helpless or hopeless, just frustrated that those who can afford to help, don’t. I suppose in a perfect world, everyone would have a job that actually paid living wages and people took care of each other instead of selling their souls to the gods of greed. Do everything you can not to victimize yourselves by dwelling on despair.

If I can hold on, so can you.

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Transmission update

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness | Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

Well folks, Caly’s mechanic friend kept his word and took a look at the mini van from top to bottom. He told me that the van is worth saving because Aerostar’s can go on forever but the transmissions go out. I asked him about just getting a used tranny from a junkyard, I found one for $275.00. Basically he said here’s the problem with those, 1. There’s no guarantee that used trannies from a junkyard will have less than 100k miles on them. 2. You might be able to replace your tranny with a junkyard part but how long will it be before you have to go out and get another one and pay more labor costs. 3. You could go and get another used vehicle but you may end up paying out more in repairs than just a transmission. His recommendation was to spend $1980.00 for a completely rebuilt transmission, get a tune-up at the same time and have my brakes fixed all at the same time. With labor and anything else that may come up, I’m looking at a guesstimate of $2,500.00 to cover anything else that needs to be replaced.

To be honest, if I had the money, I would just go ahead and get a better car so I don’t have to worry about a major break down somewhere that would leave me and the kids stranded in who knows where. When your vehicle is your home, you have to keep it in good shape.

I have been getting a lot of emails from generous folks asking where they could donate money to. To be honest, I have never felt comfortable “begging” for money but since I can’t seem to get a job (I’ve lost track of how many I’ve applied for), I decided to give in and create an account to take donations. I got the advice and link to the site from a good friend!  Here’s the link if you’re interested: http://carey.chipin.com/carey-fuller

WordPress doesn’t allow widgets so I put the link on this post. I just need to get the mini van fixed since it’s pretty much the only life boat we have at the moment. I will continue to look for a job even if it doesn’t pay a living wage. I figure some money is better than none.

A very big thank you to everyone who shared their good thoughts with me and offers of help. You have no idea how welcome your encouragement has been!

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What have I got to be thankful for?

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness | Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

It would be all too easy to allow myself to fall into despair about not having a place of my own and worrying myself to death over what’s not happening in my life right now. Everyday there is something, never enough this, never enough that and even though it can be a rollercoaster sometimes, I still have a lot to be thankful for. For one thing, I have access to clean water. I have the ability to work on getting a degree even though there is no guarantee of a job in the field I’m studying for. My kids are physically healthy and know that although we may have it rough right now, I’m not giving up on a better future for them. I don’t let them see me getting caught up in a whining fest or downward spiral into anger. Sometimes my teenager and I get into it because teenagers “know” more than they actually do but compared to some others I’ve seen, I think I’ve been fortunate that she hasn’t gotten into drugs, gotten pregnant or landed in jail. When it came to bringing donations to Nickelsville, I stood back for a moment while watching her unload the back of Caly’s car as though she had done this all her life. Sometimes her little sister gets on her nerves and typical bickering does occur but in those moments when they bond together, well, words can’t describe what I feel.

Laughter softens the bitter pill of how we live, especially when it comes to my 7-year old. From asking about tentacles and Chinas to borrowing cameras and making her own videos, she really surprises me. Here is a link to a video done last year of her when asked a question: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/video/video.php?v=125655337449632

My teen is the quiet artistic personality. She loves to draw and is an anime fan, especially Manga. I have to monitor what kind of Manga she looks at because not all of it is age appropriate as we once discovered when she got a hold of a book that made me blush! She found it at the local library and I had to tell her that just because something is “cartoonish” doesn’t mean it isn’t adult.

In the back of mind, when I knew we were going to be living out of a vehicle, I had to remind myself that the path I’m on must be leading me somewhere I just didn’t know where. This is what my philosophy has always been even when I was a kid because the experiences I’ve had always prove it. If I hadn’t become homeless, with kids, would I be able to write about it the way I do? Would I be able to understand others in the same situation if I had never experienced for myself what other people don’t want to believe is true? So many times people carelessly would comment that I should just go on welfare until I educated them that in all honesty, there is no such thing as welfare of American citizens any more.

If I hadn’t become homeless, I wouldn’t have met all the people I’ve met so far with their own stories to tell. If I hadn’t been homeless, I would’ve never found out about change.org and all the nice folks there. I wouldn’t even be on wordpress.com if I hadn’t been homeless. I keep wondering where my path will end but I know it began with me and the choices I’ve made so far. Going back to school felt scary at first but what did I have to lose? If I’m ever going to get out of this, I’ll have to fight my way out.

In the meantime, I will continue talking about the homeless and confronting stupidity wherever I find it. No matter how much any of us would like to give up, don’t. Don’t let the apathy and indifference of ignorant people keep you from helping yourself. Don’t let negativity infect your spirit because the truth is, we are our own worst enemies and it is time to start being best friends with ourselves.

If someone were to ask me if I would do this all over again, the answer is yes, I would.

“Again by Bruno Mars”

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Little things mean a lot…..

Posted by Carey Fuller in Helping hands | Homelessness | Uncategorized - (4 Comments)

With so many people out there who need help, I wonder about things. I wonder how hard it would be to find good Samaritans in every community that would be interested in helping out people who just need a little help to make things easier to get by. I’d call it “Little things mean a lot” or something like that. For people working a non-living wage job, sometimes having a ride to work now and then will save them from spending money on public transportation or stretch gas money until the next payday. Local food banks are falling short of being able to feed the hungry and one thing they are lacking is fresh produce items like fruits and vegetables. Maybe you have a large garden or enough space around you to start a pea-patch. Whatever is grown would be a great donation. I can’t tell you all how many times I’ve walked through neighborhoods full of trees with fruit rotting on the ground all around them.

For single parents like myself, not having a place for my kids to go to before and after school determined how long I’d be able to keep a job. In Seattle, for $15.00 my teen could get an annual pass to drop in after school at the local Boys & Girls Club. When I was living out of an r.v. and spending days at a local park, some folks there amazed me with their ingenuity. There were a couple of young families with kids and both parents worked but could not afford daycare. There were a few retirees nearby that “volunteered” during the summer to be in the park all day to watch over the kids by making sure they were safe from predators and bullies. Somehow picnics just happened to be a daily activity at the park especially in the summer. Some of these kids wouldn’t have eaten that day if those picnics weren’t so coincidental. I deliberately made a point of having barbecues there since hamburgers and hotdogs don’t cost much. Although it was never talked about out loud, many parents were thankful that their kids were being watched while they were at work. During bad weather, two struggling mom’s living in apartment complexes nearby took turns reserving the cabana rooms to hold pizza parties so that the kids would be warm and dry and if the cabana wasn’t available, they would divide the kids up and let them hang out at their places until the parents got home. One of the mom’s had a van and she would also drive the kids down the hill to the local library. All of this and yet not one person complained about being inconvenienced.

One way I kept kids busy at the park was to teach them things. I taught a lot of girls how to knit or crochet and basic sewing. One boy surprised me because he took to crocheting better than most of the girls! Most of the boys were fascinated when I showed them native survival skills. They wanted to know what plants could be foraged, how to find clean water out in the woods, how to whittle or fashion emergency items from whatever was lying around. By the time their parents got back, they didn’t want to leave. Telling these kids stories amused me more than anything just by watching the expressions on their faces.

Senior citizens need help too. Sometimes they can’t afford their heating bill in the summer or need someone to come out and mow their lawns. I used to help a man with Alzheimer’s clean his house because he was having a difficult time doing basic things. Eventually his daughter brought him to live with her but she was thankful that I kept an eye on him until she was able to move him.

I’m sure there’s other things that can be done as each community has its own needs and I wonder at how much of a logistical nightmare it would be to create such a network of helping hands but in these times, can any of us really afford not to help?

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