Wow!

Posted by Carey Fuller in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

Wow is all I can say to the generous folks who donated to help get to New York to attend the 140 Conference! I have to admit though that I am a little nervous as I’ve never been to a 140 before. True to my nature however, every new experience is an adventure to me so in many ways I am curious about the event more than anything. If someone had told me years ago that I would be a homeless blogger and advocate for the homelessness, I would’ve laughed in their faces. Yet here I am, getting ready to head to New York to attend the conference with Mark Horvath.

Never did it occur to me that the internet and social media could impact my life the way it has ever since I took a chance on writing a letter to Josie Raymond (a former editor with Change.org). I really did expect her to send my letter to the “oval file”. To my surprise she published that letter and even more surprising to me was the response that one letter generated. Not long after that some guy named Mark Horvath sent me an email with a copy of Josie’s email introducing him to me. Nothing in her letter indicated what it was I was supposed to do other than asking me if I ever heard of Mr. Horvath. Since I wasn’t sure what to do, I figured that if I just lay low and didn’t respond, he wouldn’t notice me. Hah! Boy was I wrong about that!

At first I was a little intimidated by Mark but after talking to him for awhile I realized he’s a real person like everyone else and he showed me how to set up a Twitter account and got me to join the We Are Visible community. He said to me “You know, once you do this, your life will never be the same.” That sentence has proven to be true. I had no idea how many people could be reached via social media. It is still a very surreal experience for me to Google my name and find how many different sites I’m on. The other thing is being able to reach out to people in different cities, states and countries which to me, keeps the experience human. I knew there were other folks going through the same situation as I was but I didn’t realize just how many were homeless until I started talking with them on Twitter, Facebook and my blog, careyfuller.com. I have also met a mix of non-homeless people, some who are sympathetic towards homeless and others who are completely misinformed. I find that social media is a very effective tool in educating the masses out of the commonly held stereotypes about homelessness and who the homeless are.

Now you may ask what it is I hope to get out of going to the 140 Conference and my answer is simple; I see the conference as an opportunity to learn all I can and maybe in return, others will learn that social media can be used to turn lives around. A big thank you to all the folks that chose to help me by donating to help me get my transmission fixed and for helping me get to New York!

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Hope doesn’t get out of hand, expectations do….

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (0 Comments)

Today I have the mini-van back! I almost broke down in tears when I saw it but managed to keep it together as they say! One thing the mechanic noticed in addition to the transmission was that the rear shocks were really bad which explains why it would rock back and forth whenever I drove over the slightest bumps in the road. Grand total of the rebuilt transmission with rear shocks came to $2602.75! The shocks were over budget by $102.75 but thank goodness another donor came to my rescue!

Not having the van around was a heavy cause for anxiety because without it, I’m pretty much dead in the water. For those of you without a clue, how long would you be able to last without reliable transportation? Would you be able to get to your job? Take your kids to doctor’s appointments or after school activities? Even something as simple as grocery shopping will be affected. For the homeless living out of their vehicles, it may be their only lifeline.

I really do thank everyone who took the time to donate funds to get my van fixed. I honestly didn’t know how I was going to get by without it and folks out there proved to me yet again that the spirit of giving exists outside of Christmas.  The best anyone can give to the homeless is hope. The only way to do that is to keep fighting for a better a day and that’s pretty much how I my life. There’s no such thing as being entitled but there is such a thing as compassion for those who are down on their luck through no fault of their own. For those with addiction problems and mental health issues, shouldn’t they be given hope too? I see so many comments that reflect the attitude that drug addicts and mental patients aren’t worth the hassle of saving but I refuse to believe that any life is disposable or expendable. Every life is worthy of living.

That being said, someone mentioned to me not to let hope get out of hand which is in effect an erroneous statement. Hope doesn’t get out of hand, expectations do. I have always thought that expectations lead to disappointments so why waste time doing that to myself? Better to be surprised by generosity than hurt by false expectations but that doesn’t mean I won’t stop working towards a better future. If anything, it just means I have to work that much harder.

Thanks again to all the generous souls out there who gave this homeless mother another chance to get back on her feet!

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There are days……

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (1 Comments)

There are days when you wonder when and if things will change for the better. Even when you’ve done everything you could think of to help yourself, sooner or later you come to the realization that it’s not enough. When the realization hits, questions inevitably pop into your head; questions like how long can I keep living like this? How long will I survive?

All the while you’re pondering questions about your ability to survive, if you have children, you wonder about how your situation will impact them in the future. Sometimes all you can do is hold on to each other the best you can and roll with whatever life throws at you, good and bad. And while you’re doing all that rolling around, pray you don’t get seasick…..

Most of the time, I figure I am in control of where my life goes, even if I got the rug pulled out from under me. One way I deal with life’s uncertainties, is to remind myself that nothing is a given, therefore I make it a practice not to expect too much out of other people or any given situation. Humans are funny that way. Some are just passing through, and others will be friends for life but there’s no way to tell unless they actually prove it to you. To my way of thinking, conduct will always speak louder than words.

To be honest, I dreaded what I would have to do if I failed to reach my Chipin goal of $2,500.00 by the end of today. I’m sure I would’ve come up with something even if it meant racing against time and moving the van around so it doesn’t get towed. Not having a home is bad enough but not having the mini-van would’ve been an even bigger nightmare. People take for granted that living out of your vehicle is an automatic guarantee in isolation, at least for me this has been true.

I was thinking all these things today when to my surprise, I got an email from Chipin that my targeted goal has been met! As of this morning, the grand total of donations received was at $1,170. Someone had made up the difference in one donation! I just spent thirty minutes staring at the screen in disbelief. In these tough economic times, who could afford to make such a donation? On top of that, it is a donation to someone they’ve never met yet there it was staring back at me from the Chipin page.

I don’t know what made all these individuals decide to help me, which makes it seem even more miraculous. I do know that I’m stunned. I am accustomed to thinking that in order to get to a better place in life; I’m pretty much on my own so I don’t expect anyone to do anything in my behalf. Maybe I’ll never meet all the generous people who donated but I can thank them. I don’t think they realize how much help they have given us and for that I hope that one day I’ll be able to return the favor.

Whoever and wherever you all may be…….thank you.

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Cutting it close

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (0 Comments)

Whew! It’s April 6th already???? Time flies even when you’re not having fun but we all have to make the best of it, right? Anyway, as you can see, I’m on my own site now so have a look around! If you notice the widget on the side of the screen, you’ll see that so far, donations to get my transmission fixed are now at 46% towards the $2,500.o0 goal. I got until April 10th so yeah…it’s starting to cut close to the deadline! A big thank you to all you generous souls out there who took the time to help me out! Once the van is fixed, I can reschedule doctor visits for the kids!

Ok now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about what a homeless mother like me does from day to day. I’ll tell you….it’s not much different than what other parents do except…I don’t have a place of my own and so begins the adventure! One of the things I’m working on is finding ways to make a living that allow me NOT to spend one job’s worth of pay on childcare. People don’t seem to realize that one of the reasons that homeless families have a hard time getting out of homelessness is because they need childcare even if it’s to go work at a minimum wage job. Does it make sense to have childcare that costs more than what you make in a month?

I also do what I can to help other homeless folks if I can. When I had working transportation, I drove to places I knew they were hanging out in and I am long overdue in visiting them. One is a gentleman named Steve that is wheelchair bound and lives at a baseball field. The other is an older woman I found sleeping under blackberry bushes. There are young people I know who sleep in cardboard recycling dumpsters because the street is the only place they can go. For the folks that know me, I’m a knitting freak and I use knitting as a way to alleviate stress. I’m also an avid sewing nut that has been known to make receiving blankets and baby clothes for needy mothers. Right now I’m taking apart thrift store and donated wool sweaters to recycle the yarn into hats and gloves for those who sleep outside. Sometimes I even do socks.

Since spring is on the way and hopefully warmer weather, I’ve been thinking about making things that go with outdoor gear. If you’re permanently “camping” it helps to have items that serve more than one purpose and are light to carry. Women need items their male counterparts don’t have to worry about so that’s another project I’m working on and when I find I can’t sleep when I should, I write..and write….and write some more! If any of you have suggestions on things that could be made to go with camping gear, let me know!

Other than that I’ll keep doing what I’ve been doing, telling the stories of homelessness from my experience and through the eyes of the homeless folks I run across. Old stereotypes must die in my opinion.

Till tomorrow everybody!

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Opting out of the shelter system

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (1 Comments)

Ahhh ….. the shelter system, first thing that comes to mind for people to go to who are about to become or already are homeless…..right? Wrong! There are many reasons why a lot of people choose not to go to shelters, the first one being that shelters may not be an option if there’s a lack of shelters to go to in addition to the fact that shelters have to turn people away because they can only take so many people.

I posted an article on We Are Visible today to get feedback from the homeless community to find out how many opted out of going to shelters and hopefully they will mention why they chose not to go to a shelter. For my kids and I, we couldn’t get into one when I tried, several times! Hence the reasons for living out of a 1981 Minnie Winnebago (and now a mini-van).

I’m not saying that there aren’t good shelters out there because I know for a fact there are. Take Path Achieve Glendale for instance. The folks here are deeply committed to doing everything they can to move folks from homelessness into permanent housing and they are one of the shelters that deal with families. Did you know that in many cities, families are split up because there are men only or women and children only shelters?

Have you ever heard of Wellspring House in Massachusetts? They were featured on CBS and treat homeless residents as guests. It be nice if all shelters could have the same positive attitudes as those who set the standards on what a shelter should strive for when helping the homeless. Unfortunately, the reality is that many shelters miss that and some are downright dangerous places to be. When’s the last time anybody checked how much was being spent on security at shelters?

How about hearing from the homeless themselves regarding their experiences with shelters? What they have to say is very enlightening. Often times it’s more dangerous for single women to be homeless let alone a single mother with kids. Essays by Carey Roberts about what goes on at some shelters is a real eye opener!

Before suggesting “help” for the homeless, know what you’re talking about first. Assuming that there’s resources to go to is a careless assumption but then that pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it? You actually have to care enough to find out. Kudos to the shelters and the dedicated staff that go above and beyond the call of duty to get folks out of homelessness. You aren’t thanked enough in my opinion!

Happy Monday everybody!

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Myths and assumptions……

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (1 Comments)

I talk a lot about homelessness because it is a subject I can say I can talk about from experience. After reading an article written by Meredith Bolster, PCHC, I am reminded once again that people still need to be “educated” about the myths of homelessness especially when it comes to automatic assumptions. What do I mean by that? Well, think about it, what’s the first image that pops into your head when the words “homeless” or “homelessness” are mentioned? Ahah! Exactly! So…why are those stereotypical images in your head and where did they come from?

Maybe you saw a “dirty bum” on the streets of a city or similar portrayals of a “bum” in movies or television and that’s what your brain uses as a point of reference. It’s no surprise then that folks look surprised when they see me or others like me that don’t fit what they assume a homeless person “should” look like. Meredith points out in her article six common myths which are misconceptions but I’d like to add a few from my own experiences.

First, don’t assume that we haven’t looked at all available options to us. In case you haven’t read my previous blogs, I’ve applied for several jobs, but most of the time, never hear back so I’m thinking that I’m not the only person this is happening to.

Second, don’t assume that the state has resources available to homeless people…like housing vouchers. Check HUD’s website on section 8 and you might be surprised to learn that the “opportunity” to even apply for housing, has not been open in your state for several years and if and when your state does open the application process, you are applying to be put on a waiting list for several years.

Third, casually telling people to go to shelters when you don’t even know how the shelter system works is careless and thoughtless. Granted, there are good ones out there but ask them how often they have to turn folks away because they cannot handle the faces of “new homelessness” they now have to deal with. Many shelters are not safe or are loaded with bedbugs so I cannot blame folks who’d rather live out of their vehicles.

Fourthly, and in my opinion the biggest myth of them all is to assume that family members  will volunteer to help relatives who are homeless or on the verge of becoming homeless. Blood ain’t always thicker than water you know….

Oh and if one of us should suddenly find themselves getting media attention or unexpected publicity, do not assume it means that a job or a better life is on the way. Those of us who may become “famous”still need housing and a way to make a living that will keep us from returning to homelessness.

Having said that, I realize that there are those who suffer from severe mental illness or disabilities that make it virtually impossible to hire so why is it the best we as a society seem to be able to do is let them live on sidewalks or shove them under bridges? I know for a fact that this country can end homelessness if it really, really wanted to. You may have seen the article I posted on We Are Visible about a federal law that mandates funds from the sale of a military base must be used to help the homeless. If you read that article, do a Google search to see how many newspapers printed the story about UGA paying $7.9 million for homeless services and read the comments posted by “compassionate” readers and you’ll see one of the reasons why homelessness is going to be a problem for what I suspect to be a long while.

So….what kind of myths do you believe in?

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Hiding the the truth

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (10 Comments)

I asked a question on We Are Visible about whether or not folks hide the fact that they are homeless or have ever been homeless. As expected, everyone’s answer varied according to their situation but I have to ask, why? Why hide something that is becoming a growing epidemic? Why hide the fact that there wasn’t a safety net in place when so many are slipping through the cracks of a social services program or programs that policy makers are unraveling quickly?

Yes, there is the attitude among many that homeless folks must be lazy, have addiction problems or mental health issues but you know what? If you let those kinds of attitudes influence you against standing up for yourself or speaking up for compassion, then you are feeding into a system of negativity. I see this as no different from those who say that you shouldn’t tell anyone that you were abused as a child or that you should keep it a secret that you were raped.

That being said, I still think that folks should work at making their lives worth living. Taking handouts to perpetuate complacency contributes nothing to getting out of homelessness. This is not the same as accepting help when you’ve done everything you can to help yourself but still can’t get out of homelessness due to revolving door policies that don’t work or make things worse.

I also understand that there may be times that you might want to use discretion about revealing your circumstances. A lot of employers have issues with hiring homeless people even though a job would certainly help towards ending homelessness. To my way of thinking, it’s a person’s skills and experience that determine whether or not I hire them; not their living situation.

I am a homeless single mother and this is what I write about. I am not ashamed of my situation, I’m ashamed of others who did nothing to stop it. It is my goal to educate others about the growing reality of homelessness in this country. I encourage those of us “in the closet” to come forward and let people know what’s going on in your world.

The more people know, the less they have to fear….right?

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Mini van update

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (6 Comments)

So far $690.00 has been donated to help get my transmission fixed. A big thanks to everyone who gave! To be honest, I just wasn’t sure anyone would; guess you all showed me! Right now the van is just sitting in a gravel parking lot where it won’t be bothered by anybody. The deadline I have is April 10th so if I’m unable to get the transmission fixed, I’ll have to get rid of the van since my friend’s landlord’s won’t let the van stay parked where it is indefinitely.

In the meantime, I will continue to write as much as I can while looking for ways to make a living. I’m not having much luck getting job interviews or even a “thank you for applying” response to the ads I’ve applied to. Doesn’t get me down though. For all the talk you hear about the economy getting better and supposedly more jobs being made, there sure are a lot of unemployed people here in Washington State.

When you don’t have a vehicle to get around in, you realize just how much you relied on it. I had to cancel two doctor’s appointments and missed my niece’s birthday party because I couldn’t get a ride there. Once the van is fixed or I get another vehicle, I’ll be mobile again!

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Let me explain something to you

Posted by Carey Fuller in Homelessness - (12 Comments)

Wow! Thank you to everyone who read the story ran in The Huffington Post. Thank you for sending me your emails and words of encouragement. I took a look at some of the comments on that Huffington Post and to those with less than savory attitudes, let me explain something to you…..

Personal responsiblity is something I do practice every day but since you don’t know me but feel you have the “right” to make comments about what you don’t know, thank you. Thank you for telling the world that you can’t see past your own paradigms. Thank you for jumping to conclusions about my life as I’m sure you were there for every moment of it. Thank you for assuming that I must’ve been on welfare all my life and have expectations of having a life handed to me. Thanks again for assuming that I haven’t fought for child support which by the way, doesn’t mean it can be collected from a deadbeat. One article on my life doesn’t even scratch the surface. I never said I was a victim, just one woman showing others that things can be better.

Your negative comments don’t faze me a bit. In fact, your very attitudes are what keeps the fight in me alive. You have inspired me to write a little something I like to call “Justifiable hypocrisy”.

Justifiable hypocrisy

Funny but not funny is how I see it

All these comments floating around

Why, everyone has an opinion

On who they think I am

 

I wonder if it occurs to them

While pointing their fingers at me

They are saying more about themselves

And the kinds of things they believe

 

Everyone’s got an opinion on what my life has been

But I don’t remember seeing them around

Through all my thicks and thins

I’m sure they meant to be there

 

Oh and while you’re on your soap box

The one that scrubs you so clean

Tell me what gives you the power

To talk so self righteously

 

About people you don’t really know

Or gave a damn about in the first place

Maybe if you took the time to find out

You wouldn’t have all that egg on your face

 

Opinions come and go so this is nothing new

In fact I was expecting it

So very nice of you

But don’t expect any thank you’s

 

I know where I’ve been and what I’ve done

So I’ll be just fine

It’s you I’m worried about

Because you are so very behind

 

And I refuse to be shoved into

That closet where you put

Everything you don’t want to deal with

Because out of sight is out of mind

 

I gotta do what I know is right

Even if you can’t or refuse to see

How useless it is to buy your

Justifiable hypocrisy

 

For the rest of us, keep your heads up and keep on fighting but while you’re at it, be careful about making judgements, nobody made you God.

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